Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Knowing Baby's Gender

As mentioned in a previous post, my husband and I found out what gender our baby is.

Having had a child before, the experience has been interesting in both instances. With my daughter, I experienced a slight feeling of disappointment that she was a girl, which led me to believe for years that I had wanted a boy. This time, I experienced that same feeling of disappointment, except that now I was carrying a boy. In both instances, the feeling caught me off guard.

Obviously, this feeling of disappointment morphed into confusion pretty quickly. Why was I disappointed? I think now that the feeling stemmed from the idea that once I knew what the baby was, my imagination and options became instantly limited. This needs a more accurate explanation.

When you don't know what sex the baby is, your imagination runs wild with all of the clothes, activities and rites of passages of both genders. Once you're limited to one gender during the ultrasound, half of your happy visions of the future go away.

Knowing my baby is a boy means I can't buy cute dresses or girly shoes anymore. Maybe that's all it comes down to, because my son may end up liking tea parties and dress up and dolls. He won't get his period and probably won't ever wear a wedding dress, but who's to say he would even get married if he were a girl?

It's hard not to instantly start directing him down a gender-specific path, even before he's born. I guess that's where the feeling of disappointment really stems from. The state of not knowing offers a limitless world of possibilities, whereas knowing subjects you to all the socialization you've acquired about either gender.

I'm thrilled to know what I'm having, and just as thrilled that it's a boy, but I can see the attraction in deciding not to know until baby's birth.

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